When I started college, I noticed that it was really hard to make friends.
At first, I thought it was only my problem, but then I revealed that I’m not the only one. So, if you feel just something like me when I was in college, I have prepared a list of reasons why there are people with no friends.
People view others as a commodity
With the increasing popularity of social media networks and apps, people are easier to reach. Therefore, nobody regards socializing as an urgent need. People do not even try to find good friends in real life. Sometimes it is OK for them to stay at home and exchange thoughts with someone who they have never met. My friendship advice: if you are one of such people, do not ask yourself why you don’t have real friends – just go outside and try making new friends.
High levels of individualism
People do not feel the need to be engaged in the teamwork. They rarely socialize with neighbors/roommates/classmates/colleagues, etc. Some years ago, it was more popular to join together for a picnic or be engaged in volunteering or charity work together with your neighbor. Now, however, people do not like to spend much time socializing with others.
Shock after college
It wasn’t probably that hard to make friends in college. Hardly did you need some friendship advice as there were numerous clubs, activities, parties, etc., where you would have surely met a person with common interests. However, when you start working, you may not find any true friends among colleagues. Most probably, you will have merely good working relationships. Therefore, keep in touch with your old friends from school or college – probably, they are the only lifelong friends you will have.
Myths that your personality is static
You may not have any reasons but for your beliefs why it’s hard making new friends. If you consider yourself as an introvert, you don’t believe that you can be open to others and freely socialize. On the contrary, if you regard yourself to be an extrovert, you might consider that you’re not serious. This list can go on and on. So, realize that you are a versatile personality and can get accustomed to new situations.
You might be lacking info about the principles of friendship
Yes, even such things as establishing friendship and socializing should be learned. Therefore, it’s perfectly OK if you become interested in some psychological aspects of social skills.
So, if you have found out your own reason why it is hard for you to make friends, then this article has proved to be useful for you! Do not get discouraged. Probably, someone you want to make friends with is simply not your person.